It may sound a little strange, but no matter how many times we go on our first love date, we are always nervous. And that familiar question always follows: what should we talk about?
The story goes like this: first, we looked at each other, then we finally met and he invited me to see him. There was no end to my happiness! I really liked him, but as soon as I thought about my first love date, I panicked. Where, what, how?
I believe this has happened to all of you, no matter how many first dates you have gone so far. Of course, if you like the guy at least a little, and you go out with him, it means so.
And always think: yes, I know I’m fun, when I’m with friends everyone laughs at my jokes, enjoys my stories and adventures, gladly listens and gives advice… But a first love date, even for those with the most confidence, can be quite stressful. Although there are those little signals that show you that he likes you, he was still someone we barely knew, and we want him to like us.
What to wear for the first date
One of the first doubts is what to wear? You need to dress appropriately for the occasion. Clothes can help you feel more relaxed and comfortable, why not attract him, which will also help the overall impression. The best clothes are those that reflect your personality. So for the first love date, choose your favorite combination, which highlights your best characteristics and you will have more self-confidence. For example, perhaps the best choice is a certain color that suits you well or a piece of clothing for which you constantly receive compliments.
If you are not the type of girl who wears mini skirts, do not try to wear it on the first date because you will spend time putting it down and thinking about how to behave in it. If you go to some casual and relaxed place in the evening or during the day, leave the dresses and evening make-up at home. The bottom line is that you need to feel comfortable, that your clothes are in line with the situation, and that reflects the real you.
Where to go on the first date?
Choosing the right activity or location for your meeting will set the right base for your next shared moments. Choose a location that will allow you to talk and get to know each other. It is best if it is a cafe or restaurant with a pleasant atmosphere. Cinema is a choice that should be left for later because the silence it requires prevents you from communicating and learning something about each other. Places with loud music are not a good idea for the same reason.
Make sure you arrive on time. As normal as it may seem to you that he should be waiting for you, still don’t be late on purpose. They will think that you are irresponsible and disorganized, and that will not help you for a start. If you are still more than 5 minutes late due to unforeseen circumstances, be sure to call him to inform him and apologize.
What should we talk about?
The most difficult thing on first love date, however, is to achieve good communication. We have experienced all this: we like him, we think that there is some chemistry between us, but the conversation is going awry. The goal of a love date, especially the first one, is to determine if there is something between you, and asking the right questions is the fastest way to find out if this is the man you want to see again.
The right topics for discussion and asking the right questions will make you find out his interests, as well as whether there are big differences in thinking about certain topics, in what you are similar, and in what you are different.
Whether you know each other or this is your first meeting, here are a few ideas, which topics of conversation will help make your first love date interesting.
Ideas on how to start a conversation
The hardest part is starting a conversation with someone we don’t know well because we’re not sure how. So we expect him to do everything, which is wrong. It’s not easy for him either. As soon as he invites you to date, it means that he likes you enough and wants everything to turn out well. So, if you see that he is confused, take the first step, it will be a complete success.
For starters, tell him how glad you are to meet him and give him some compliments, such as choosing the location he suggested for the meeting. Then you can comment on your day, something interesting or current like weather or traffic jams, to break the discomfort of the first minutes of the date.
After these general things, if it’s someone you don’t know well, start with questions about things you want to know, and that will tell you more about him. Where is he from? Where did he go and in which school? Where exactly does he live? What does he do and how long has he been doing it?
While this may seem too formal, even at least one of these issues can steer the conversation and encourage other topics. Only as part of the question of where he is from, topics related to childhood arise, and which man does not have a handful of childhood adventures? And as he retells them, you give him an extra boost by laughing at his antics and enjoying the stories.
He talks, you listen – no, not at all!
Of course, on the first date, it’s not the point that only he talks, and you keep quiet and listen. He wants to hear your side of the story, so you follow his story. This will inevitably start a story about siblings and parents. A conversation about family will tell you a lot about him and his relationship with people, but also to him about you. What man still doesn’t like to hear how well you get along with your family and relatives, how much you love your family environment, and how you grew up in a healthy environment?
Now that you have driven away the nervousness, you can move on to more specific questions, which will satisfy your curiosity and at the same time allow the conversation to be relaxed. These questions should allow you to see if you have similar tastes and interests, what he likes and dislikes, what you have in common, what he does in his free time.
An example of these questions would be: What does he like to do when he is not working? Does he prefer watching TV or movies? Depending on the answer, ask him what he has been watching lately. What kind of music does he listen to? Has he traveled to an interesting destination? Does he have a vacation planned? Has he read a good book recently?
Personal questions on the first love date – yes or no?
If your first love date is progressing very well and for now you like what you hear, and it seems to you that he has the same opinion, it’s time for a little more personal questions. It is important that neither of you feels uncomfortable, so have a limit in the questions and answers. Some of these questions may seem silly at first glance, but they can reveal a lot about a person. They will also further relax the atmosphere and can lead to some funny and very fun situations. For example:
- If you won the lottery tomorrow, what would be the first thing you would buy?
- If he could choose to be any person for a day, who would it be?
- Where would he like to live?
- Is he an early riser or a night guy?
- Does he know how to cook?
- Does he love his job?
- If he didn’t do his current job, what would he like to do?
- Is he a careerist?
- What is his social life like?
- Does he have a large group of friends?
- Does he like to go out, how often, and in what places?
The last few minutes of the meeting are crucial, to make sure he invites you to see you again. If you think the meeting went well, don’t be afraid to let him know. By asking some of these questions, you will be able to conclude from his answers whether that will happen. What is he doing these days, will he be too busy? Any plans for the weekend? Does he like this place? Does he know any other pleasant place to go out?
Paying bills can sometimes be an awkward situation. The unwritten rule is that, especially at the first meeting, the man pays for everything. However, men don’t like it when a girl expects it, so you should offer to do it. No, he probably won’t let that happen, but he’ll think the best of you.
Take the initiative if you feel something
If you don’t want the evening to end and if you really feel strong vibrations, ask him to go somewhere else. Suggest a bar nearby, coffee or something sweet, or a house party with your friends.
Although nothing is completely forbidden at the first meeting, there are some topics that are best skipped. Conversations about religion, sex, finances, politics should not be your topic. If he starts talking about it, you can also comment, but very carefully and briefly, at least for a start.
Gossip and negative words about others should also be avoided, as well as plans for the future related to marriage, children, the story of diseases, and family problems…
Good topics and the flow of conversation are not a guarantee for a good first love date. Along with this, another thing is very important – a smile. A smile is a great way to reduce discomfort from the first love date. Laugh often, be positive, use words of praise and comments and you will immediately feel good energy and relaxation between you. And all this within normal limits, so as not to think that you are too intrusive. A good sense of humor can help you. Tell a funny event, a joke, and you can tease him a little, why not.
Verbal communication is important but so is nonverbal
Don’t forget your behavior. Treat him with respect, be polite and kind, but also moderate, so as not to act artificially.
Eye contact is very important, as is body language. In conversation, look at him and occasionally nod your head when he says something. It shows that you are completely focused on what he is saying.
Also, be aware of your body when you are sitting across or next to him at a table. Don’t fidget or sway. Sit comfortably and move gracefully. Movements are a great way to show your excitement in conversation, so moderate gesturing is highly desirable. Avoid overly dramatic movements and strong arm swings. Subtly flirt by leaning towards him while he says something to you, playing with your hair, crossing your legs, or blinking your eyes slowly. These gestures can excite him if they are not too aggressive.
Speak clearly, do not be loud or impudent. Let your speech be soft, calm, and relaxed. And a pleasantly quiet voice will help you act romantic and caring.
Observe his reactions. You may think the conversation is interesting, but he may feel differently. If he wanders around the room, fidgets, stares blankly at you, or is out of focus, try talking about something else or laugh quickly and discreetly with the sentence “It seems that I talk too much, why don’t you tell me something about?”.
What is the most important rule for a first love date? Stay aware of yourself and your partner and the levels of yourself and his pleasantness. Even if he holds the strings in his hands, it is up to you to make sure the date goes in the direction you want.